RETIRED HUSBANDS SYNDROME!

New Delhi : A couple of days back a lady in my neighbourhood was groaning about her recently retired husband, who demanded constant attention and subservience from her. She was telling me that her husband is eating her brain & sanity. I feel like tossing him out of the window.
This kind of thoughts in wives along with physical symptoms like rashes, ulcers, irritability points to a modern syndrome- “Retired husbands syndrome”.
There are many women who are grappling with this issue of increased presence and increased dominance of their retired husbands.
Japanese doctors first described the syndrome when wives started showing symptoms of stress after being forced to deal with their recently retired husbands, who were very unreasonable in demands and sought constant attention.
Some men will be prepared for their retired lives, so their presence in the house will not affect the wife negatively, where as some men will be so ill-prepared
for post-retirement leisure, they become more demanding, more bossy and lees co-operative. They become sedentary, listless and non-agile. They start nit-picking and become intolerant. Usually a woman can handle multi-tasking with ease, but when the man of the house becomes an attention monger, turning himself into a child once, or a boss sometimes, or a desperate dependent, she may collapse under the burden and may end with  psychological and physiological symptoms.
Post-retirement period is meant for relaxation but can also cause stress for the couple, if they are not prepared for such a scenario. This period is usually called the”final chapter’ of life. Since medical advancement has increased longevity of humans, couples are spending significant length of time together, late into their eighties or nineties. So it is important that couples discuss their dreams, personal expectations, goals, interests and also emotional and sexual issues openly to avoid future conflicts. This is essential to lead a mutually satisfying lives.
Husbands after retirement should remain active by taking up fulfiling activities like sports, writing, music or voluntary work. They can remain as a support system to their wives who may still be working and balancing home and office work with equal efficiency.

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*Dr. Narresh Purohit-MD, DNB, DIH, MHA, MRCP(UK), is an Epidemiologist, and Advisor-National Communicable Disease Control Program of Govt. of India, Madhya Pradesh and several state Health organizations.                                                                                                                                                                                             Dr. Purohit is also Chief Advisor Hospitals Association  of India  and Chief Investigator  Association of Studies for Kidneycare and  Avisor- National Mental Health Programme .